


Promise you'll be careful

by Mortellana



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, M/M, Mentioned Kairi (Kingdom Hearts), Mentioned Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Mentioned Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortellana/pseuds/Mortellana
Summary: I read somewhere that there isn't much Sora centered angst out there, and immediately set out to change it. With a side of Soriku because i said so.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Kudos: 24





	Promise you'll be careful

The clock ticks down to the day before the seven guardians of light are supposed to go face off against the thirteen darknesses. Sora returns to the islands to unwind after their assembly at yen sid's tower.  
Kairi skipped to go get something as soon as they landed, insisting on not telling what it was. Riku on the other hand, pushed him aside but a second before the girl started abandoning ship. He was interrupted by that, for the moment, but after the three talked and she left, he asked if he could speak with Sora for a bit, giving him a serious look.

Sora dangles his feet on the tree they always hang around on, waiting for his companion to finish fixing something on the gummiship. He doesn't feel at all anxious with what this talk might be about, it's Riku afterall, it's not like he's getting a scolding from Donald or something. In fact, he finds himself looking forward for tomorrow while watching the tangerine tint slowly but surely overtake the skies above, like paint spreading through the cotton of the clouds. He already rescued two people, now he's only got a few more left to go. No more worries after tomorrow, everyone will finally be able to be together again.  
The other boy shows up and, for once, sits beside him instead of leaning against the tree stump. Switching all his attention to him, Sora asks.

"What's is it?"

"It's just that i'm worried about tomorrow."

"Oh, there's no need to be! You're gonna do great!"

"Hm, thanks, Sora. It's... not me i'm worried about, though... And- it's not that I don't think you'll do well!"

Hearing this dims the smile in Sora's face. Despite Riku jumping up to try and catch his words before they can hurt him, they already echo all too familiar in his ears.

"I'm just worried about your tendencies to get hurt so you can help others. Tomorrow will be different, it'll be then or never, and we can't afford to not think it through at least a little bit."

All that worrying about him feels unfair.

"What? I'm not like that! I mean… i don't do anything like that unless my heart tells me it's what i have to do... If it's absolutely necessary for someone else... and yeah, maybe it happens a lot but i still wouldn't call it that."

Why is he so averse to being called out on that? He certainly reacted offended just now, but it's not quite what he's experiencing.

"Sora, you can't just go off into battle tomorrow thinking like that. You have to keep yourself in mind while fighting. You can't just figure you'll take the fall for anybody that may need it at the drop of a hat."

"But of course i'd do it! How could that be bad? That way no one gets hurt, and everyone can be happy."

"You're wrong there. What if something happens? Something permanent. Don't you think it would hurt me? Hurt Kairi, and everybody else back there? How happy could i really be, after losing the person most precious to me?"

Hearing this feels like a slap in the face for the boy, his simple certainties washed away by Riku's words. Now that it has been brought up, there's no helping his wandering imagination, the mere semblance of Riku's grieving face is enough to ache sharply in his heart, not to mention everybody else’s.

He feels the need to divert that train of thought.

"Your mos-" 

However, it is to no avail.  
Dripping down, tears well unexpectedly in his cheeks. His drooped shoulders tense up at the notice. Arms shoot up from the heart pounding startle it caused, one of his hands grabbing the opposite sleeve of his jacket and the other wiping his face. A sadness suddenly courses through him, dismally cradling in his chest.

"Waahh! Sorry I... I don't know what...-"

The knee jerk reaction is to look for a reason inside himself, to look for a trigger to one of the people he carries in his heart. For all the times it has happened until now, he's certain he'd know if it was Roxas instantly. No way it's Ven anymore, either. The person they don't know, maybe? Something about the feeling itself seems to turn that down from being a sound alternative. Both the way it renders him powerless to stop sobbing, and how it flows somehow unobstructedly, naturally, tell him this. It’s unrestricted, even more so than the most recent times he's shed tears. Like he isn’t being only a conduit of this emotion, but the source.  
The hand motion meant to dry his face isn't enough to stop the streams. He frantically tries once more before resting his wrist on the bridge of the nose, laying his arm in front of both shut eyes.

No way this is him crying, right?

No way this is...

Nothing that was said was far from what he already knew, he's heard worse. He's had his whole word be pulled from below his feet before. Bad guys taunting him left and right like it's routine.  
And yet, a soft, well intentioned remark, urging him to take better care of himself is what wrecks him.  
The warm sensation of Riku's hand on his shoulder, carefully getting to rest above his own, feels like sun shining on his cold and rain filled state.

"You have already asked me to ensure you i am being careful, let me do the same. I mean, look how many reckless stunts you've pulled off already, how many odds you have already tested... Promise me, not again."

He takes his arm away from his face, grabbing his vacant shoulder instead, as he listens carefully to Riku’s words. Maybe, his hand feels a bit too warm actually. He is really serious about this, he is really nervous over the prospect of something bad happening tomorrow, and Sora really can't for some reason wrap his head around that.

The tears don't stop, but the watery hiccups do. A balance he is afraid to break by giving an answer. The silence slithers around in the air, bothering him more every instant that he insists on not speaking, letting his voice turn into a blubbering mess.

He isn't embarrassed by his feelings.

He just doesn't want to lie to Riku.

As if the overstay of silence between them had been the straw to break the silver haired boy's back, he firmly wraps Sora in a hug. His face buried in the black and red clothing and his posture curved over. Not one second passes before he can figure out that Riku is not as keen on letting his expression be seen.

"I know it makes me sound selfish... maybe i am a bit. But. Please. I can't- can't protect you if you don't believe you're worth protecting."

His voice, though not once crumbling, slowly faded into a whisper nearing the end. As if he weren't sure he wanted it to be heard, which is a lack of certainty unsettlingly unusual for him.

He grabs the arm around his collar, his fingers hanging loosely onto it. Sora’s disposition switches tracks, quickly prioritizing consoling the sadness that wasn't his own.

"You're not being selfish... You're being a worry wart like always, haha... I'm not worried. And that's because, no matter what happens, i know our hearts will always be connected. Remembering that can always soothe my nerves."

That should be enough, he thinks. That should take some weigh off his friend's conscience. However, he only feels Riku's embrace tighten ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry, feel like i’m making a fool out of myself. It's just- i can't help but picture the year i spent trying to get you back. I can't help but dread it. And i know i'd do it all over if it was necessary but... just the thought of it i can't bare. Not again."

The weights he thought he could help lift drop to the floor along the beats of the sentence, stringing his own heart alongside it. It had never hit him before, how his unwitting absence had been so hard on Riku for him to be talking about it now. For him to be talking about it like this. Subtleties in his tone making Sora question whether or not he's holding back tears from behind his hoodie.

He thought about it before, asked even. Dismissive responses always followed, but even the teasing ones always carried gratefulness. He could have sworn he never heard his voice so relieved the first time it was brought up, and answered "I'm just glad to have you back". He said it was fine, not to bother about it, so it didn't take long for Sora to think it didn't affect him anymore altogether.

He thought wrong.  
How stupid did he have to be not to notice before? How could he get it so wrong, when he’s the one one who should know him best? The faint recollection of their mark of mastery exam, his voice trying to get him to wake up, begins to play on his head as if it were a song stuck in it. What must have gone through Riku’s head as he shouted that, both back into those roles. He's so tired of being put to sleep, of being made helpless for others to save.

Noticing these racing thoughts, he bats his eyes that seemed to get lost looking inside, reentering reality. Draws a breath and looks up towards the line of the horizon above the sparkling ocean. He wishes setting those aside were as easy when he's alone as it is in this moment. He feels he needs to just talk to Riku, simply hear his voice, to ease both of their hearts. Even with the subject landing on such heavy notes, it's all redeemed on his eyes by the proximity they get to share for a fleeting moment.

"Thank you. For always being there when i needed someone to fall back on, it means a lot. Thanks."

"...Silly, don't say it like i did it because i owe you or something."

Sora can picture a smile in Riku's face as he voices the playful remark. He lets out soft laughter in sequence, finally having struck the dead serious tone in the air. Though most of it still lingers.

"He hehe… i know. I know i can always trust you to make the right calls. But... if my heart and mind are made up about something i'm about to do, i'm asking you to trust me just the same."

Riku unburrows his face from Sora's curve of the neck, retracting his arms from the lock they had him on. He leans backwards, as if there was an invisible wall there to keep him balanced, scuffing his neck while looking away toward said wall in a slouch. Crossing his arms seems to give him his composure back, but his eyes are still closed as he turns them back at Sora's direction. He snickers and inhales profoundly before letting out a sigh.

"Sure. I can do that."

Looking into his eyes is what makes Sora acknowledge the full extent of what he meant when he spoke.  
He won't stop taking chances.  
He won't stop attempting to pull off heat of the moment stunts.  
He won't stop putting everyone else before himself.  
How could he?  
It's not like he feels he'd be doing something wrong, quite the contrary. He cannot find a way to see his altruism being a fault.  
But still, for some reason.  
For some reason, right now there's something he can't quite place, still dwelling inside himself. Once more he wonders if it's someone else's memories causing this. Once more he realizes it's not.  
For some reason, even though he did nothing bad.  
He really wants to say he's sorry.


End file.
